FRUIT JUICE! MOTHERFUCKER!

Today I rebegin the process of actually writing in this blog, one of my second-year-new-me aspirations. Among others:

-bathing slightly more regularly
-cleaning the catbox more regularly
-drinking Borgio less regularly
-firmly drawing the line at 5 English clubs
-wearing heels to work, even in the muddymuds
-not writing any more mean stuff on this blog

Also today: I saw someone, while dressed to the Mongolian nines, floss her teeth with her hair.

Impressions

Introducing the dark inner workings of the Mongolian 13 year old.
Non Sequiturs ahoy!

“I will study at Harword.
Mongolia is will be 30,000 very much.
The world will be no water.
I love world and Mongolia.”

“I will speak like Jessica.
And Anna Sui makes fragrance. It’s very nice.
Today is!”

“Are you reading Secret? I’m forgot it’s writers.”
(ed: please lord let her not be talking about what I think she’s talking about.)

“Sports and Sportsman.
Sports, it is great.”

“I domesticate a fish.
I have many fish.
But I want domesticate a fish.”

(I have entitled this one, “Also”)
“I love animals. If I was animal, I will eat grass.
Because I can’t eat grass.
Grass is green and bitter but I’m person.
I will eat grass when pigs fly.
So, I don’t like grass, but grass is very nice.
Also, Laugh makes me happy, but Cry makes me sad.”

“My love boy. My love boy name is Amargabat. ❤ He is 15 years old. He is very best boy. So very cute boy. We broke up with after 7 month. We first met. I tried to forget him but I couldn't. I decided to wait for him. I'm still waiting for him…What should I do? Can you give me some advice Jessica please???? THIS IS MY DREAM."

And scene.

Likes and Dislikes

One beautiful evening, my sister and I are out in the backyard weeding the cucumbers. As we weave between the rows, she suddenly turns to me and says:

“Jessica, what don’t you like?”

Her English is a little shaky, so I take my time replying. “What do you mean? Like food…or…people..?”

“All.”

“Well, I don’t really like bugs, especially bees. I don’t like eating fat. I don’t like it when people are mean.” I answer, wondering where this line of questioning is coming from.

“Oh.” she answers, “I don’t like China.”

 

 

Found: The Last New York Notebook

TRANSCRIPT BY JESSICA MADISON
***
PAGE 1

The Family (with thanks to Orion):

-the Indio or Mojave desert
-BATTLE BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARK
-Ted “Bear Jokes” Papa
-Hi welcome to Cuzin’s!
-RIVAL CULTS (scientology building over the ol’ swimmin’ hole, fasting cult)
-“Reverend”–“YOU’RE BREAKING THE RULES!”
-“Aunt Granny”
-ragtag uniforms, sex parties
-two kids born into cult “Fizzle and Pappy”

***
PAGE 2

Scientism
-“But I’m a Scientist!”

***

PAGE 3

An essay (prompt by Paul):

Q:At the beginning of the 21st century, we look back upon the early days of modernism with a nostalgia for its industry, in that it stands as a symbol for something more innocent than the societal processes which have taken its place. In this essay, you are tasked to pair an early invention/system/convention of the 20th century with its contemporary correlate and explain their relevant similarities/differences.

A: TAFFY + FIZZIES = FAFFY + PIZZLES

***

PAGE 4

Meanwhile…

A Treehouse in Brooklyn!
(sponsored by PBS)

(Ed: here I attempt to draw the PBS logo from memory, and it looks like this:

Treehouse into the ecoparadise! PARK SLOPE/BERKELEY BIODOME (rest of U.S. on fire)
WE NEED PUPPETS! AND JOKES!

(Ed: then Nick draws Park Slope (coop) connected to Berkeley (compost) by a long arching hamster tube, underneath which are guns, fire, and skulls. I can’t reproduce it.)

***

PAGE 5

AUNT GRANNY: SEXUAL UBERMENSCH
-pantsuits
-aviators
-smoking a pipe
-advanced audio-visual room
-sometimes really into cooking
-george foreman grill

(Ed:

and

there it is.)

***

PAGE 6

Dad owns oxygen supply company
-oxygen tanks
-and nitrogen

***

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