I hate to be That Guy, but…

…goddamn you Affordable Care Act/Covered California/Everybody! So:

1) The AfterCorps health plan for returned Peace Corps Volunteers is shut down because it “doesn’t meet minimum requirements.” Which, fine, that thing was ridiculous and kind of not even really health insurance.

2) I apply for Medical because that “readjustment allowance” was embarrassingly small and Peace Corps wasn’t exactly the career-booster it was sold as.

3) Denied because it “can’t be confirmed you don’t have health insurance through your employer,” an employer who:
a)I stopped working for 8 months ago.
b)shut down their health plan because you, The Government, TOLD THEM THEY HAD TO.
c)is also definitely part of you, The Government.
d)is like, right across the street. Just go ask them!

4) I get my little fuck-you appeal form, so I go to appeal on the website, as if it were 2014.

5) The website isn’t working, in fact the little thinking wheel is still spinning two hours later.

6) And now here I am, mailing in my appeal, scrawling my explanations all up and down the margins of the form LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.

7) However, unlike a crazy person who sends goddamn LETTERS TO THE U.S. GOVERNMENT I have serious doubt that it’s ever going to be read. So we’ll see. Hopefully I don’t get hit by a bus in the next few months.

So THANKS A LOT NOBAMA NANNY-STATE TWITTER NAG for taking two years of my youth and rewarding me with a certificate I don’t think you actually signed.

O THX.

O THX.

I think I’m just going to go buy a bunch of canned cat food and dig myself a hole out in the desert. DON’T TREAD ON ME.

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“Sister Wives”: The Netflix reviews

Or: A welcome distraction from academic stress and self-inflicted heartbreak.

WELCOME AMERICA, TO YOURSELF

Watch them Sister Wives on NEEEEEEEEEEETTTTFFFLIIIIIXXXX

sistas

A Con Man and a Pedophile: 2 out of 5 stars
This show is like a train wreck and I want to stop watching, but I can’t. Wives whine and cry a lot and Robyn is SO ANNOYING and needy, I don’t like her! Kody is not the stud (more of a really immature dork) he thinks he is and it’s selfish for all of them to keep breeding and not be able give their children the time, attention and support. How can they afford to offer each child college? Braces? Clothes? Health Insurance? They are exploiting their lifestyle and religion for money and they will lose the fancy homes when the show is canceled. This is brainwashing at its finest. Joseph Smith was a con man and a pedophile, read up on the history of their ‘made up’ religion that started in the 1800’s, it’s ridiculous. Kody and his brood barely even practice ‘religion’ and only subscribe to it so they can justify a kinky way of living. And, what is wrong with the women, knowing your man is swapping fluids nightly and what about diseases? I feel sorry for the kids facing judgment and ridicule throughout their lives. Meri can’t work? Robyn is doodling jewelry on a note pad? Janelle and Christine have the most sense and seem to welcome hard work.

Season 3: 5 out of 5 stars
SEASON 3 SEASON 3 SEASON 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I only watch Netflix and would LOVE LOVE LOVE if Netflix could keep up with me.

A Hands-On Husband: 5 out of 5 stars
I personally think that this show and their way of life is absolutely wonderful. They are one big happy family. Maybe my emotions are getting in the way and my age but I absolutely loved this show, could not stop watching it. I did not know that there were different kinds of polygamy and I doubt that a lot of people know this. All I have ever seen is where it is like a cult and the leaders were cruel to the women and female children. Kody to me seems like a wonderful husband and father to everybody. When was married I had two children and as absent husband. My ex never once showed me what Kody takes time to show his wives. He never took me on a date, he never acknowledged any holidays with us. I turned out to be a very bitter woman – hence, the emotion part, he never even went anywhere with me and my kids. And that is how I think of my children as mine because even though I stayed with him for 25 years (I stayed until my children were grown and on their own) I raised my kids and sometimes when I think I did wrong not leaving they look at me and tell me (Mom, how do you think we turned out so well? They have wonderful families with both a Mother and a Father.) I left when my children left to live their lives as I had always planned. One reason I stayed was financially. I has no money even though I worked I did not make that much to support two children on my own. Their father did give me money for them whenever I said they needed this or that – however – I personally had nothing. I wore safety pins in my clothes and my pants were so shiny in the butt area from being worn so much. So, as you can summarize I think Kody is a wonderful person and the wives all help each other out no matter what the situation. I absolutely loved this show and hope there are more coming. I hope this helps whoever needs help. Thank you P.S. My son is a hands-on husband and father.

All Messed Up: 5 out of 5 stars
Season 4’s episodes are all messed up and out of order. Also the last one is missing entirely. the show is great id like to see the last episode.

Scholarly Credentials: 4 out of 5 stars
Although I have Scholarly credentials, my accolades for the comming out of this family has been scrutinised. Just because they are NOT Christian, does not mean they are not covered by the constitution. The constitution covers ALL religious groups, even Satanists, so why not old world judaists, which is what polygiamists really are. You may as well say you cannot accept a Jew in America, as to not accept a Polygamist. Granted modern day orthodox Jews do not accept polygamy. But Polygamy did start in ancient Jewish customs, and was widely accepted by many other cultures. Now when you talk about Christianity, the Christ, JESUS, hisself, said a man must be a husband of one wife, if he were to be recognized in the congregation. But that was not recognized by Jews, who chose to split their religion because most did not want to accept Christ Jesus despite all the prophecisies that were fortold that came true. The point is, while you may believe this family may be practicing false religious practices or not, it is up to GOD, not us to determine. In the mean time, we do our best to educate, and love our fellow man, NOT judge!!!!!!!Give them the information, and let them choose what they will, it is them who experience the SUPREME justice, as Paul said, as far as it concerns You be peable with ALL MEN!

Messed Up…Messed Up: 5 out of 5 stars
Is anyone else’s season 4 messed up. Season 4 is season 3 and the episodes are messed up.

A Slippery Slope: 4 out of 5 stars
This is America. Our Ancestors moved here to escape the persecution’s imposed by tyrant’s all across the globe. When the tyrants followed us here the first time it took the revolutionary war to beat them back. It saddens me that those same tyrannical ideas have once again permeated our society. Freedom isn’t about majority rule as dictated by the form of government we all call Democracy. Our Fore-bearers hated Democracy. Freedom’s roots were born in the form of a Constitutional Republic which states that 99% of the people can’t take away the rights of the 1%. America is a Republic not a Democracy. Unfortunately we haven’t done a very good job of teaching that concept to our children. We only need to recite the pledge of allegiance to quickly remind ourselves of who we are and where we came from. The Communist, Socialist, and fascist elements within our government would just as soon keep us all brainwashed, ignorant and fighting amongst ourselves. I think this program is not only fabulous but useful because it challenges us to practice our foundational beliefs of tolerance and respect for other people’s lifestyle choices. If we don’t Vehemently uphold the freedom’s of those in whom we disagree with the same passion and commitment we value our own ideals then ultimately all our freedoms are in jeopardy. Until very recently, this has been a widely accepted concept that has sustained us since the birth of our constitution. If we fail to recognize the slippery slope we’ve been heading down and continue on our present course then America will no longer be the land of the free and home of the brave. We’ll be just another tyrant government that everyone wants to flee. God help us and God help this family who’s only crime is the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness…

EXCEPT MY MAN: 2 out of 5 stars
What is up with Robyn and the constant herpes cold sores on her lips!!?? I have only watched random bits and pieces but by the end of Season 4 all the wives want their own huge house on a cul-de-sac in Vegas. Wow. Not too much pressure!! The whole premise of polygamy is odd to me and my personal opinion is you have to be born into it and grow up with it to truly understand it and want it as a lifestyle. I am a very giving person, I share anything….EXCEPT MY MAN.

Women’s Natural Motivation: 5 out of 5 stars
This show reveals how easy it is to exploits women’s natural motivation to bear children and brainwash them into thinking sharing a husband is part of god’s divine principle.

Good Show Great to Watch: 5 out of 5 stars
good show great to watch i would recommend to my friends there not fake love love it,s great thats it,s on netflix now

Mission Accomplished

Allow me to paint for you, a picture:
My C.P. and I, in front of our school, huddled against the last of winter’s snow, playing “Marry, Fuck, Kill” with the male characters from “Lost.”
If that’s not the ultimate in Second Goal, I don’t know what is.

The Peace Corps’ mission has three simple goals:

Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.
Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.
Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans.

sawyuh
In my dreams, he calls me “Second Goalie.”

She’s here.

Who’s here?

CHEESE, BITCH!

cheese

Just innocently nestled up against the hyam* in Khishig market’s non-ice cream refrigerator, as if the fact of her existence didn’t herald an occasion as momentous to BU’s foreign population as the Day of Peanut Butter (heralded by the great Kate Borkowski).
Yes, dear reader, Baruun-Urt has now finally caught up to most of the other aimag centers in the march towards Pleasing the Foreigners. Now we pray for the chicken to return.

*cousin to bologna, only with pinky-sized chunks of fat helpfully embedded inside

Wherever you go, there you are.

Today, after escorting a 68 year old woman (who happened upon us at the Tansig Hotel during Monglish club and who I am still pretty concerned about–how did she get out here? What is she doing? Where did she get that Lonely Planet Guide from 2008 and why is she following it? More on her later.) to a room we found for her at the government building, and after having a few beers with the girls from the Tourism Office, and after being accosted by a couple of drunk countryside men, and after buying a loaf of bread I finally managed to wrench myself free n’ homewards.
What do I hear as I pass Star Nightclub, as I skirt around the wet tar laid down by the Chinese construction workers who are repaving Temuulel road for the 3rd time since I’ve been here, but THIS:

Now mind you, the last time I was involuntarily alerted to this song I was hightailing it down Spring street, crossing Wooster on my way to work a Champagne and Oyster event at the fancy damn chocolate shop where I worked, (Also I may have been wearing THE SAME DRESS I AM NOW (that would be the black long-sleever with the pockets and the bleach stain in the back that I bought at Chico’s with my mom but don’t tell anyone) ) when suddenly a different breed of construction worker poked his head out of the loading dock he was constructing in and shouted “DAMN BABY THAT’S MY JAM.”
So there’s that.
It may also interest you to know that in Mongolia, as well as New York, drunk people do the same earnestly purposeful “IMA GOIN’ HOME” walk. It sure interests me.

Time

to start teaching the Counterparts about the advent of Transcendentalism? As soon as the resident intellectual returns from his week long bender, I say yes! To hell with definite articles, am I right?

I SAID AM I RIGHT?!?

His name is my name

So to kick off my weekly Speaking club, I had all the younguns pick out English names for themselves, partially because I remember so enjoying choosing a German name in middle school German class (Petra) and partially because I still can’t seem to remember Mongolian names to save my life.
Here is my current class roll:

Anna
Miranda
Meri (Mary)
Belle
Anika
Beth
Sarah I’m Happy
Kelli
Jana
Magge
Julia
Beyonce

Jabbawockeez

Michael Jordan

Harry Potter

John
Zack
Eliza Beth
Gloria
Carime

Jane
Eleina
Janna
Julie
Mary 2
Bella Swam

Angelina
Clarina
Any
Eric
James
Jonny
Kelly
Jordan
Janet
Katy
Karina
Boy Kate

Michael Jackson

Julie
Eva
Alice
and my personal favorite…
Jack Spicer