A brief tour of some Mongolian music videos

To begin, I should point out that Mongolians exhibit a great amount of love and respect for their mothers. Eej births you, Eej makes your boiled tea, Baby Camel cries golden tears for Camel Eej who never comes home. As a result, in any time of great agitation, where an English speaker might cry for “my God,” a Mongolian will call for “Eeje”.
Like for example when you’re one of three women dressed in baby costumes, hanging out in a shack, gyrating on a bound and blindfolded man.
“Eeje!!!”

Not only is this video great because it is about Naadam, the most fun and least socially stressful of all Mongolian holidays, but because of the G.D. costumes. Check out them furs! This only serves to strengthen my intentions of buying multiple sets of dog hair shorts and shoulder pads to sport upon my return to the US. I don’t know about those zebra stripes though. Step it up, Nara.

For balance, a song about the most socially stressful Mongolian holiday.

Let’s use this video to meditate on the particular hotness possessed by Mongolian men. Mean eyebrows! Pointy snarly teeth! Futuristic silvery Chinggis Khan vest! Ignore the fur coat parts, and Amraa. Shoo, Amraa! Take your mismatched lipstick and dye job right up on out of here.

This video is close to my heart because it is the song my duu (younger sibling) Temujin would listen to when he pooped. No Anemone, no pooping.

Anemone, for the curious, is the end result of the Mongolian “Making the Band.” This one’s about your Mom’s birthday.

This song’s called “Hello, Mom.” Youtube comments include: “nice song” and “really nice song.”

And to be fair, this one’s for Pops. Less production value, more likely to be seen on the UB bus. Just like your Dad.

And that concludes this session of Mongolian Music videos.

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Dill

Hi. I’m Jessica Madison, and I’m here to talk to you about Dill.

Did you know that dill, when added, by an intoxicated person, (along with maggi sauce and halon chinju) can create a very desireable illusion of vegetable to your steamed white rice?

Dill. It’s what’s in your steamed white rice.

Two Avocado Commercials


Commercial 1:

This one is what we call “about Skittles level” normal.

A human and a semi-anthropomorphic (arms, legs, no face) avocado sit side-by-side on the beach of a desert island. On the right lies the splintered remains of a raft. Perched on a palm tree above, a vulture watches intently.
Closeup on where the avocado’s face would be. Beads of avocado oil collect on his (her? maybe.) leathery skin.
We see the human from the avocado’s POV, staring out to sea. The image shimmers and becomes a mirage, the human transformed into a hotdog.
Closeup on the human’s (fine, assholes, the 20ish white male’s) face. Beads of sweat collect and drip down his brow. His bloodshot eyes slide over to look in the avocado’s direction.
From the man’s POV, we see the avocado, also staring out to sea. Again a mirage replaces the image of the whole avocado, and we see the fruit sliced open, and salted, revealing its light green flesh and smooth pit.
Voice over: “Avocado: your friend ’til the very end.”

Commercial 2:

Maybe more “Nutrigrain Level” here. Better.

An avocado shines alluringly against an ivory background. Herbal Essences. Soft New Age fluting. Slowly, the avocado opens to reveal a naked woman curled up inside. An invisible wind blows her hair back and she turns to face the camera.
Naked Woman, crooning: “Avocados. Like crawling back into the womb.”

(Maybe the woman is also pregnant? Too much?)