Time

to start teaching the Counterparts about the advent of Transcendentalism? As soon as the resident intellectual returns from his week long bender, I say yes! To hell with definite articles, am I right?

I SAID AM I RIGHT?!?

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Likes and Dislikes

One beautiful evening, my sister and I are out in the backyard weeding the cucumbers. As we weave between the rows, she suddenly turns to me and says:

“Jessica, what don’t you like?”

Her English is a little shaky, so I take my time replying. “What do you mean? Like food…or…people..?”

“All.”

“Well, I don’t really like bugs, especially bees. I don’t like eating fat. I don’t like it when people are mean.” I answer, wondering where this line of questioning is coming from.

“Oh.” she answers, “I don’t like China.”

 

 

Found: The Last New York Notebook

TRANSCRIPT BY JESSICA MADISON
***
PAGE 1

The Family (with thanks to Orion):

-the Indio or Mojave desert
-BATTLE BETWEEN LIGHT AND DARK
-Ted “Bear Jokes” Papa
-Hi welcome to Cuzin’s!
-RIVAL CULTS (scientology building over the ol’ swimmin’ hole, fasting cult)
-“Reverend”–“YOU’RE BREAKING THE RULES!”
-“Aunt Granny”
-ragtag uniforms, sex parties
-two kids born into cult “Fizzle and Pappy”

***
PAGE 2

Scientism
-“But I’m a Scientist!”

***

PAGE 3

An essay (prompt by Paul):

Q:At the beginning of the 21st century, we look back upon the early days of modernism with a nostalgia for its industry, in that it stands as a symbol for something more innocent than the societal processes which have taken its place. In this essay, you are tasked to pair an early invention/system/convention of the 20th century with its contemporary correlate and explain their relevant similarities/differences.

A: TAFFY + FIZZIES = FAFFY + PIZZLES

***

PAGE 4

Meanwhile…

A Treehouse in Brooklyn!
(sponsored by PBS)

(Ed: here I attempt to draw the PBS logo from memory, and it looks like this:

Treehouse into the ecoparadise! PARK SLOPE/BERKELEY BIODOME (rest of U.S. on fire)
WE NEED PUPPETS! AND JOKES!

(Ed: then Nick draws Park Slope (coop) connected to Berkeley (compost) by a long arching hamster tube, underneath which are guns, fire, and skulls. I can’t reproduce it.)

***

PAGE 5

AUNT GRANNY: SEXUAL UBERMENSCH
-pantsuits
-aviators
-smoking a pipe
-advanced audio-visual room
-sometimes really into cooking
-george foreman grill

(Ed:

and

there it is.)

***

PAGE 6

Dad owns oxygen supply company
-oxygen tanks
-and nitrogen

***

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Introducing: The Pallas Cat

Hi! I’m:
The Pallas Cat, or Pallas’s Cat, of “small wild cats” and “German naturalist Peter Simon Pallas” and “Mongolia.”

I enjoy:
sheltering in crevices; raising and then quivering the upper lip on one side of the muzzle, displaying the large canine tooth; being observed basking in the warm sunshine.

I’m also:
a crepuscular hunter.

And my name is:
The Pallas Cat!

Guestblogger: Billy Collins

Hey fans! Jessica Madison here, hoping that you’ll join me in welcoming to https://jessicamadison.wordpress.com our new guest blogger, Billy Collins. Take it away, Billy!

Hi, I’m Billy “Le Collins” Collins of “Poetry,” introducing a poem written by and for myself, Billy “Le Collins” Collins. Here it is:

A Poem
by Billy “Le Collins” Collins

after Billy Collins

O, I DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE, BILLY COLLINS

As I sat, masturbating
at my typewriter
I noticed that you were there,
even though I didn’t see you.