I hate to be That Guy, but…

…goddamn you Affordable Care Act/Covered California/Everybody! So:

1) The AfterCorps health plan for returned Peace Corps Volunteers is shut down because it “doesn’t meet minimum requirements.” Which, fine, that thing was ridiculous and kind of not even really health insurance.

2) I apply for Medical because that “readjustment allowance” was embarrassingly small and Peace Corps wasn’t exactly the career-booster it was sold as.

3) Denied because it “can’t be confirmed you don’t have health insurance through your employer,” an employer who:
a)I stopped working for 8 months ago.
b)shut down their health plan because you, The Government, TOLD THEM THEY HAD TO.
c)is also definitely part of you, The Government.
d)is like, right across the street. Just go ask them!

4) I get my little fuck-you appeal form, so I go to appeal on the website, as if it were 2014.

5) The website isn’t working, in fact the little thinking wheel is still spinning two hours later.

6) And now here I am, mailing in my appeal, scrawling my explanations all up and down the margins of the form LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.

7) However, unlike a crazy person who sends goddamn LETTERS TO THE U.S. GOVERNMENT I have serious doubt that it’s ever going to be read. So we’ll see. Hopefully I don’t get hit by a bus in the next few months.

So THANKS A LOT NOBAMA NANNY-STATE TWITTER NAG for taking two years of my youth and rewarding me with a certificate I don’t think you actually signed.

O THX.

O THX.

I think I’m just going to go buy a bunch of canned cat food and dig myself a hole out in the desert. DON’T TREAD ON ME.

I don’t know if y’all heard about me…

…but today I was at long last invited by Ye Olde Peace Corps’s to join them in a twenty-seven month Mongolian Engagement.

This means that this blog is about to get Real Differn’t Real Soon.

Now begins the Last Days of America for me.

The Next Two Months:

LOBSTERFEST Y’ALL.

Guestblogger: Billy Collins

Hey fans! Jessica Madison here, hoping that you’ll join me in welcoming to https://jessicamadison.wordpress.com our new guest blogger, Billy Collins. Take it away, Billy!

Hi, I’m Billy “Le Collins” Collins of “Poetry,” introducing a poem written by and for myself, Billy “Le Collins” Collins. Here it is:

A Poem
by Billy “Le Collins” Collins

after Billy Collins

O, I DIDN’T SEE YOU THERE, BILLY COLLINS

As I sat, masturbating
at my typewriter
I noticed that you were there,
even though I didn’t see you.