The Inevitable Decline of Food/Sex/Poop

It’s true what they say…

Dill

Hi. I’m Jessica Madison, and I’m here to talk to you about Dill.

Did you know you can add a little dill to your steamed white rice and pretend you’re eating a vegetable? You can do this even better if you get drunk first.

Dill. It’s what’s in your steamed white rice.

Dear God,

What does it mean when
one of your power animals
eats another one
of your power animals?

Kids See a Lion Eat Cuddly Zoo Animal (Sun UK)

At least we’ll always have the Pallas Cat.

don’t be munchin’ on ol’ P-Cat, y’all…

Definition: “Selfing”

Hi! Jessica Madison here to talk to you about “Selfing,” a hot new trend alert as identified by me, Jessica Madison.

Self·ing:
[self]
noun, selfed
1. The act of a person, animal, or thing that selfs.
2. The act of extensively modifying and/or contemplating a reproduction of one’s own image for allegedly artistic purposes.
3. The kinetic manifestation of tautological narcissism.

“Woosh! I can’t believe I selfed so hard last night. I hope nobody borrows my computer and sees the 24 versions of that black and white image of myself inside a giant birdcage that I was going to use as an author photo.”

“Hey, let’s do something fun tonight!”
“Like what?”
“Oh, I dunno, how about I bring over some white wine, we can make a light dinner, maybe sit at the kitchen table and record/replay our witty banter on your iphone.”
“Yeah, it’s a good night for co-selfing.”

“I think I’m going to watch this video of myself as I’m posting it to my blog and then I think I’m going to talk about doing it as I’m doing it. Nobody selfs like I do. Nobody. I hope everybody sees this.”

And with that I give you…

SMOKEY MOUTH (directed and edited by Nick Sumida)

“Oh! I’m sorry, I just selfed all over you. Here, let me help you clean that up.”

(Jessica Madison became a fan of Jessica Madison and suggests that you become a fan of Jessica Madison too.)